Drunken Brawls? No Will and Kate?

Royal Ascot Is Not What It Used to Be!
LONDON—My, my, my, the 300-year-old Royal Ascot is certainly not like it was in the olden days. Upon disembarking their train to the horse race, which took place from June 14 to 18, visitors were met by a sea of scalpers crowing, “Buy or sell any tickets; buy or sell any tickets.” Thursday, Ladies’ Day, was as usual the most entertaining of the week’s events(First lady shimmers in Naeem Khan gown at state dinner). There were many familiar faces in the crowd, including Princess Eugenie, looking svelte and hand-in-hand with her boyfriend, Jack Brooksbank. As to be expected, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip attended each day. No sign of the Duke or Duchess of Cambridge, but Carole Middleton did not miss the opportunity to join the Queen, riding behind her in a horse-drawn carriage for the Ladies’ Day Royal procession.

Traditionally Ladies’ Day is most dramatic because of the outfits—the female attendees wear hats so large and bulbous only a Faustian bargain with gravity keeps them on. But this year’s excitement was of a different making: a group of eight grown men, seemingly friends, got into a drunken dispute over a 20-something blonde. One minute they were chatting next to the Victorian bandstand, and the next they were rolling around on the ground in a brawl that involved chair legs, a £98 bottle of Laurent Perrier, and various members’ being bitten and kicked. Blood-encrusted, unfortunately, does not fall within the Ascot dress code.
But even the Royal Enclosure is not nearly as exclusive as it once was. Now, new members may be sponsored by anyone who has attended [Ascot, or sat in the Royal Enclosure?] four times in the past. This is a change from the former, far stricter rule that required sponsorship from two members who had both been for the last seven years consecutively. And although entry to the Grandstand (the tier of tickets below the Royal Enclosure) is not exactly cheap—£54 for the ticket alone—let’s just say, buy yourself some stocks in fake eyelashes, spray tan, and push-up bras, and we may yet be able to dig ourselves out of this economic slump.